I was diagnosed with inattentive attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at age 30 and type one autism at age 31. Women often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, even though all the signs are there. We tend to internalize our feelings and learn to mask our behavior. It’s more socially acceptable for women to be “shy” and even to have a special interest. For years, I was just shy, or blunt, or passionate, or gifted.
After receiving my diagnoses, I finally feel like the world makes sense. I finally understand the reasons behind always feeling like I was just a little bit different than anyone else. My difficulties with communication are because of a disability, not just because I’m awkward or shy. And I finally know why I’m so damn obsessed with cats. It’s been a crazy journey, but a validating one. And I’m learning how to make my disability into my strength.
Let’s talk about some of the perks of having a dual diagnosis of ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Special Interests (SPINS): Special interests are one of the most common characteristics of people with autism. Due to hyperconnected brains, autistic people feel more passionately about what we love. So when we do have a special interest, we tend to hyperfixate on it. You could even say that it consumes us. For me, working in the animal welfare field, I’ve been told so many times that I must have a hobby or interest outside of animals in order to stay sane. This has admittedly been something I’ve really struggled with. I just love cats, okay? For me, cats are an intense focus on a specific topic and more than just a hobby.
Direct and Honest Communication: I have a very blunt and direct communication style. I say what I’m thinking and I don’t sugar coat anything. This can rub some people the wrong way, and I often forget to point out the positives when there are negatives. However, now that I understand myself and my diagnosis a little bit better, it’s something that I’m working on! And I think that staying direct and honest is definitely a perk of working with me. I won’t lie to make you feel better. If there is a hard decision that needs to be made, I’ll tell you.
Hyperlexia and Strong Research Skills: This is a new word for me, and I’m so glad to finally put a name to my experience. Essentially, hyperlexia is advanced and unexpected reading skills and abilities in children way beyond their chronological age. This was me, and as a hyperlexic adult, I still have a much higher than average ability to read and comprehend information than the average person. Did you know that on average, neurodiverse people are 30% to 50% more productive, and we learn faster than most neurotypical people? In a field where continuing education is everything, my ASD really allows me to “nerd out” and stay up to date on the latest research.
Precise and Detail-Oriented: Maybe it’s perfectionism, but I’m going to call it being “precise.” I have a certain way of doing things, and I like it to be done that way. When I’m working with cats and clients, I’m giving my absolute best. I love to figure out complicated situations and solve puzzles when it comes to behavior problems in cats. My ASD and ADHD mean that I’m more detail-oriented than the average person, especially when it comes to my favorite topics and special interests. I can often catch things that other people don’t see.
Autistic People Make Great Entrepreneurs: Many adults who have ASD struggle to keep consistent employment. I think this is due simply to the lack of support and understanding by the average neurotypical person. Autistic people are often highly intelligent and capable employees, but we struggle to find meaning in work that doesn’t directly relate to our own interests. It’s tough to stay motivated and focused as an individual with ADHD and autism when I don’t care about my work. Once, I was written up at my job because I completed my work too quickly and spent too much time on the internet. Another time, I was denied a promotion due to my unconventional communication style.
By starting my own business, I was able to develop a work environment that meets my comfort level and uses my skillset to the max. Now, instead of trying to change my behavior or being pushed to do things that I can’t or don’t want to do, I can thrive and meet my full potential.
Author Kathy Hoopmann said that all cats are on the autism spectrum. While this isn’t literally true, and cats can’t actually be autistic, I totally get what she’s saying. Like us, cats can avoid eye contact. They can not enjoy being touched or held. They enjoy their alone time. They can get obsessed with their favorite things. They love routines and predictability. And they can easily get overstimulated and experience sensory overload.
Does being autistic mean that I understand and identify with cats more than neurotypical people? Maybe. I like to think that I do. A love of animals can often be one of the earliest recognizable signs of autism in children. I was asking my parents for a pet cat basically as soon as I could talk. As an adult, I have filled my home with cats (currently eight indoor cats, plus two foster cats, and three outdoor cats). I surround myself with these perfect little beings that I love so much, and often, I would rather be around them than people.
It’s taken me some time to “come out” as an autistic person. There are so many misconceptions about autism spectrum disorder. Some people still think it’s an intellectual disability or a mental illness, and think that I may be less intelligent, harder to work with, or somehow less capable. I experience a lot of rejection sensitive dysphoria (when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected) and imposter syndrome (feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments) and it absolutely crushes me to think that I may be treated negatively, talked down to, or avoided entirely because I’m on the spectrum.
However, I’ve always been a very open person. I like to talk about my experiences and my struggles in the hopes that it may help others and give people something they can identify with. It’s also my hope that “coming out” will help clients and colleagues to be more patient with me if I am inappropriate, disengaged, obsessive, or even arrogant at times.
So here I am. Autistic, with ADHD, and unapologetic. And a better cat behavior consultant and business owner for it!